and clearly I choose sleep but not consciously lol. What happened was I totally fell asleep on the couch as I was going to post last night lol. I woke up long enough to move from the couch to the bed and once my head hit the pillows I was out until my alarm! I guess I really needed the sleep…although I do wish I had the chance to post this last night.
Work is work…I was supposed to go up to my moms last night for her husbands bday dinner but I had a KILLER migraine and called to let them know I wouldn’t be able to make it. H, her husband, sounded a little upset that I wasn’t going to be there but migraines run in my family and I THINK my mom understood. This is one of the first times that I have cancelled and didn’t feel guilty about it lol so that is progress for me 🙂
I’m sorry this is being posted so late – I promise to make sure tonight’s gets posted in a timely manner 🙂
Last nights meditation:
Learn to listen to the silence
Driving into Yellowstone Park, I switched off the radio. The sun was setting. The mountains on either side of the road framed my view. Snowcapped mountains, their peaks touching the clouds, reflected the pear, pink and orange of the setting sun. The clouds were beginning to change color, the way they do at twilight. Evergreens lined the road. Some stood tall. Some stooped. Some bent, as if peeking at or beckoning the travelers on the road. The smell of pine gently filled the car.
Because I’d been driving all day, I had kept the radio on to keep me alert and entertained. Now, I shut it off. As I drove, I let the silence fill the car, fill my mind, fill my soul. Before long, the colors of the sunset began to almost sing. The trees, the mountains filled me with their energy, rhythm, vibration.
Certain sounds can be healing – music, the voice of a friend, the laughter of a child. But there are other times when we need to turn down the sound and listen to the silence. Silence can be healing, too.
As the sun set and I drove through the gates of Yellowstone Park, I realized this: the sounds of silence aren’t silent. Each creation that lives sings its own song. It takes a quiet mind, a quiet soul, a quiet heart to hear these songs.
Learn to listen to silence. Listen to the world around you. And the silence will sing you a beautiful song.
Taken from ‘Journey for the Heart’
I have been finding myself curling up in the chair J gave me every night with the window open and listening to the sounds of nature. I has become something I look forward to, almost like a meditation ritual of trying to center myself, trying to slow down from the day. My brain has been on overdrive for awhile and I am handling the work fine but I think my body isn’t happy with me lol. Last week it was 3 solid days of migraine and then today I got a BAD one…I’m sure it’s a combo of not eating enough calories to make up for what I am burning, the stress if being down a person at work, helping a co-worker with a HUGE project, trying to figure out how I am going to tackle telling Dr F about the disruption and frustration I have had with her group with using all my skills. I think my brain is just on overload. I am managing it all very well and I haven’t crashed into the wave yet but I think I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
E was so sweet when I told her next Friday is exactly one year since the first time I ever met her. She was like “seriously? Omg we need to do something” it makes me feel good (and sad) lol because I am going to miss her when she finally leaves. I know I still have my family J, JS, MM and M and that makes me feel a little better – they will NEVER leave me and E came into my life for a reason and that time is coming to an end. She will go off and help tons of other people just like me and hopefully I made an impression with her. I have to let her go so she can help others – and believe me she will.