So this post is a day late but I was so tired when I got home that I didn’t have the time to post it. Can I just tell you how blessed and honored I feel? I have so many amazing people in my life…people who are there for me through thick and thin, people who love and support me.
One of my co-workers is getting ready to have a baby – well his wife is anyways – so a bunch of us took up a collection at work and then went over to S’s house to tie-dye onesies and drink beer and have pizza. It was so awesome and fun. Afterwards J and I went to a couple of local shops for shopping – neither of us bought anything lol – but she did show me this INCREDIBLE store where I can get prayer flags so I can’t wait to spend a LOT of money in there LOL.
After the shopping we went back to her place and just talked, created art, painted and it was just so…peaceful. I am so proud of J for so many reasons and I am so freakin’ lucky to have someone like her in my life. Someone who gets me, who understands the “crazy” who doesn’t judge me and loves me regardless. She is the older sister I always wanted/needed…she has shown me the REAL meaning of family.
Last nights meditation:
Give freely of what you’ve been given
Learning to not overcare, overgive, and overdo are the lessons of the past. We have learned them, learned them well. There was a time when we needed to monitor our giving because we were giving compulsively, almost addictively, with no thought to what felt right in our heart, with no understanding of loving ourselves. But that was yesterday.
This is now. We can trust ourselves to know when it’s time to stop or when our giving has become destructive. We can trust ourselves to know when it’s not our job to give, because now we are connected to ourselves, listening to ourselves, on track.
Give freely of your time, your heart, your joy, your wisdom. Share your experiences, your strength, your hope. Share your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Share your money, your gifts, your laughter. Share your hope. Share yourself.
Give freely of what you’ve been given, and the universe will provide you with exactly what you need. Give freely and the universe will give freely to you.
Taken from ‘Journey to the Heart’
This one was SO appropriate after last night. J and I had been talking about where I had been 2 years ago and where I am now – how I have opened up and given myself to others and brought the walls down. I am still learning, still growing and still changing for the better and I know that life is always changing. I have learned how to ride the waves better, I have learned that I can open up and trust people and even though E is leaving to go elsewhere she is not abandoning me. E is going to help many many people who are in the same situation I am and I have had her in my life for the time that I needed her – letting go will be SO hard but I will be able to handle it.
I am making a list of things to do and adding them to my calendar so I can keep up on my cleaning. I spent so much of my childhood with a mother who would watch you as you cleaned to make sure you did it right that sometimes I feel like rebellion that I don’t want to clean, or when I am falling down the rabbit hole and I have no motivation to even eat let alone clean. But now that I am in the right frame of mind I am going to make sure that I add stuff to my calendar (if it is not there I will forget lol) to ensure that I can keep up on it. J gave me some honest and heartfelt words of advice, wisdom and critique and she is 100% right…and again she does it in this way without making me feel worse than I already do, without any judgments and just having it come from the heart.
Blessed to have the people in my life, to finally have my lens clear enough to know that people care about me and be able to say that I am worth caring about. I have not only allowed myself to give freely of others (I was always giving so much of myself) but now I am able to accept what the universe gives back to me. What an incredible feeling….and I never would have gotten to this point right now without the love of my work family (my real family if you ask me) J, MM, JS and M. They encourage me every single day, they are there for me, they push me and challenge me…I am a better person because of them.