reality check

Loving yourself will make it better

Are you feeling powerless? Have circumstances taken a turn you don’t like? Do you feel there’s nothing you can do to make today better? One power that’s always available to you is the power to love yourself.

Sometimes we feel powerless. We have circumstances in our lives we simply cannot change, no matter what we do to create something different, to move the situation along. We can’t get another person to behave differently. We can’t seem to change something at work. We can’t do much about our money situation, at least not in the moment. Nothing in life seems to be going our way. It’s not that we’re doing anything wrong. We aren’t off our path or neglecting a particular lesson. The energy of that particular time in our lives in frustrating. There is no action we can take to change our circumstances. All we can do is surrender to the circumstances, accept what’s happening, and stay in the moment.

During those times, there is one action we can take that will help. We can love ourselves. When we can’t do anything about the world around us, when we can’t even seem to do much about ourselves, we can always, always love ourselves. When all our powers seem stripped away, we can practice the power of self-love. It’s one power no one can take away.

Self-love will always make things better. And perhaps when a difficult time is past, you’ll look back and say, That’s what I was really learning all along – the ever present, healing power of learning to love myself.

Taken from ‘Journey to the Heart’

To be honest I am not sure I could have read this one before today and not scoffed at it.

I am feeling like I am in a place of balance right now, in a place of somewhat acceptance: the acceptance of the path, journey, diagnosis, and of it all.

I feel okay with where I am – I smile now sometimes without realizing it. I catch myself and I don’t know where it came from our why and think to myself maybe THIS right here and now is happiness.

I’m sitting here on the couch and reflecting – I realize what a STRONG factor J has been in me getting to this place both- that both she and E being there, helping guide me, helping me up after I fall.

I am grateful to them in SO many ways…for coming into my life, for pushing me into therapy, for getting me the help that I needed and for doing what you thought was best when I couldn’t find the courage to do it myself.

She has been an anchor for me this past year and a half, the lighthouse to guide me during the darkest of times, the family that needed and never ever thought I deserved.

I can’t begin to thank her for helping me get to a place where I can learn to self-love. For helping me up so I could get to this place…I could NEVER have done it without you.

She helped me think I was worth it and helped me see that I matter….do you have any idea how incredible that is? How lucky I feel?

A year and a half ago I couldn’t have said any of this, believed any of this and even on the days where I am crashing in the wave…I know it to be true.

I know that *I* did all the work – I know that only *I* can practice the power of self love but I also know that if  J didn’t help me to believe that I was worth it I never would have gotten here…E has done a TON in regards to my mental health, my skills practice, ways to let the emotions come and go…but she cared about me even before I was in therapy. She saw something in me the day she met me and has ALWAYS been there right beside me to help me see it.

I am crying happy tears right now…happy tears thinking about how much my friendship with J has changed me, how much it has lifted me up. How much MM, JS and M mean to me and how important they are in my life.

These tears are for how proud for how honored that they are in my life, how much it means to me that they care about me.

I would NOT be here on this earth if J hadn’t called me in for an interview…I know this for a fact. I hadn’t planned on living to see 2012…I felt worthless, alone, unlovable…getting this job was the greatest thing to EVER happen to me.  I was MEANT to get this job, to come into their lives…I thank my angel in heaven B for it.

I am now able to know I have value and purpose and WORTH in life…that is a feeling I can not begin to even put into words. I cry happy tears for myself, for J, for MM, JS and M…I am truly blessed.

 

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