awakening…at least maybe that is what this is.

Trust what you know

As you grow, as you evolve, as you continue on this journey, you’ll discover many special abilities, gifts, and powers. One is an increased sense of knowingness. We will begin to understand events and people on a level much deeper than we experienced before.

We will begin to know the feeling of a person, place, or thing. We will begin to feels its energy, not just its matter of physical form. We’ll talk to a person for a while and know if that person feels trapped, feels like a victim, or feels free. We’ll know if a place holds energy that is good for us. Or we’ll know that energy isn’t right for us, doesn’t currently complement our needs. We won’t judge. We’ll just know. And we’ll know what to do.

Powers appear when we open the heart. We find the powers of love, comfort, faith, joy. There are other powers, too, that come along the way. One of these is the quiet power of trusting what we know.

Open your heart. Let it show you what it knows. Learn to trust what you know. You’re wiser than you think.

Taken from ‘Journey to the Heart’

For some reason this one hit close to home for me today. It’s funny…I never knew what I could experience when I let down the walls and find the powers inside. I never believed in happiness or peace – I only saw darkness, only believed in the negative energy that the darkness but people in my life now have helped change that. J, M, MM, JS and E have all helped me bring down the walls and then how to handle all the energy that comes with it.

I found myself crippled with fear as the walls came down – my family helped me overcome those fears, how to harness the power and turn them into good. Reflecting back hurts a lot, to see where I was, to see how low I had fallen…I know deep down that I have made incredible progress and that I am NOT that same person anymore but sometimes when I reflect back I still wonder. I still wonder if B hadn’t died, I still wonder if I should have killed myself, I still wonder if I should have gotten help sooner…going back isn’t going to change anything…and being in the mind space I am in now looking back makes me sad for another reason. That reason is because if things were different then maybe I wouldn’t have the job I have now and wouldn’t have those people in my life, wouldn’t have find my true family.

I am where I am supposed to be right here and right now and honestly it doesn’t matter how I got here and THAT is what I have come to understand.

I am so thankful and grateful to those in my life who have stuck around and helped me get here – without them I would never have been able to clear my lens off enough to begin to see the person that they see every time they look at me. What an incredible gift.

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